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On Mr. Fred Phelps Entering a Hospice: - Real Men Take Care of Their Children

Mon, Mar. 17th, 2014

09:40 am - On Mr. Fred Phelps Entering a Hospice:

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The morning news says Fred Phelps, famed for his family hate-church in Topeka, Kansas has entered a hospice. Here's my offhand prediction for what will happen after his death:

Just as the Worldwide Church of God (the people who used to send you those free subscriptions to The Plain Truth) and its Ambassador College in Pasadena, California fell apart after the death of its founder and theology dictator, Herbert W. Armstrong, so will the Phelps church do the same -- without him there to browbeat (or just plain beat) the other family members, eventually the fence will come down from around the group of houses.

Some of the family members will wander away into normal lives.

Some will reunite with other family members who escaped and are now shunned.

Some will join another American minority religion -- Hindu, Buddhist, Islam, Mormon, Pagan, whatever -- or become atheist, to distance themselves in angry reaction to how they were raised.

Some will join more conventional Protestant churches.

Some will have PTSD.

Some will seek therapy.

Some will self-medicate with a bottle, pill jar, or needle until they crash and burn.

A couple of them will have ghost-written tell-all books to promote.

Some will be approached by "reality" shows; some of those will accept, to extend their proverbial "fifteen minutes of fame."

Some will come out of the closet.

Probably the History Channel will make a biography of Fred Phelps heavy on re-created scenes with unknown actors who will only resemble who they're portraying in a dim room at night, interviews with a couple of family members edited to fit the slant the producer wants, and twelve minutes of actual information repeated sufficiently to fill 42 minutes of program time.

And probably some other pseudo-Christians, some relatives of dead military, and some gay and lesbian people will collectively imagine Mr. Phelps' head photoshopped onto Jeffrey Hunter's body in the scene from "The Cage"/"The Menagerie" of Enterprise Captain Pike under an illusion taken "from a fable [he] learned in childhood" (i.e., burning in Hell).

Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative


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Date:March 17th, 2014 05:50 pm (UTC)
And if I recall my Dante, Fred P. will be carved as a Norman Rockwell Thanksgiving turkey on a regular basis.
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